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Wednesday, 31 December 2003
Infamous Existents
Well to start of I hope you all have a good New Years Eve, but also be safe. So I know I haven't been quite on top of this whole blog thing but now I am back and will be giving you the outlook on a pathetic life. I have finally figured out my nitch or my click, I am not one of those teenagers who has to be just like everyone else, who must fit in and who must where a certain kind of clothes or even brand. You might be wondering what has brought this frustration upon me, but I have been brought up to be a nice and respectful son and friend to people and to be willing to talk and share. But I can do all those things with having my parents or friends make me be something I am. So I am realizing that I am not a follower and not a leader, I happen to get sick of that bogus line that our parents pound in to our head. Can't they just know that I am me not a leader or a follower, I am just me. And beyond that ounce of hatred, what do you do when all around is folding in and making your existent disppear and also causing pain and much grief. I really don't know what causes it seems to just be when something around me happens and just allows me to get down on myself. I guess help is something I need to but am to afraid to get it. Well that is what has happened in the last couple days. And I can only pray that help is on its way.
Posted by ejbone
at 11:16 AM EST
Thursday, 25 December 2003
People Judge For Stupid Reason, Get The Real Facts
Have you ever been to the point that living is a question to you. Well not saying it is or isn't but it seems as if people think that I am just a worthless person and just nothing. But sorry I am not, don't think of me as an ass but you sit there not knowing anything about me, then you think you know my whole life story when you have never took the time to talk to me. So sorry when you judge you make yourself seem more like the narcissistic type,then anything. When you sit there to me you are missing out on getting to know one of the nicest presumptuous person you will meet. But I guess people can't get there heads out of there ass to notice that I am not stupid. So beyond that, today is christmas and I can say my christmas was just astonishing. I got alot of clothes well still have to go shop for them with my gift cards. But I can say that this was one of the best christmas's. And what also makes my day so grand, is cause the one girl I love, I am being given the chance to be with her again. Have you ever felt that when you are with a certain someone they just tend to take your breath away. Well Megan is my fine example of that. I can say that the last month with out her has been horrible and I resent it. So obviously you can tell that my day has been productive with criticism from people and love from my family with christmas and love from my girlfriend.
Posted by ejbone
at 8:02 PM EST
Monday, 22 December 2003
First Two Days Of Vacation, And Already Sick.
Well as you can tell the title pretty much sums up what has been happening but there is alot more that has happened. This weekend was fun we had our family christmas with my grandmas and then brother and his kids. Now what I got is pretty childish but hell I like it, I can honestly admit I got "Finding Nemo", I wanted that movie so bad and hell I got it. Then from my grandma I got a new comforter and gift certificates to Barnes and Noble. Hell yea to that to. But other then that I am still waiting for christmas to come and to get my gifts from my mom and dad. But besides that, have you ever wanted someone so bad that you can't stop thinking of them. Well I do and it is pretty much that same person and I think they know who they are, and if they happen to read this call me I want to see you. Well that is my daily complaint.
Posted by ejbone
at 10:21 AM EST
Friday, 19 December 2003
Christman Break is just beginning.!.
Today is the last day of school till next year, and a new chapter in my life. But today was on the boringest(if that is even a word) days of my life. To begin with I had to roll out of bed this morning and get ready to find out my car is dead. I was so pist, I just didn't know how it could have went dead. But I did get to school okay. Plus all the classes I have the teachers just wanted to do puzzles and some of those puzzles got boring. So as you can tell my day wasn't so productive and wasn't the best. Well I am going to stop writing for today. I got to head to my gradnmas.
Posted by ejbone
at 5:19 PM EST
Thursday, 18 December 2003
Are the friends you have, the friends you want to keep?
Today was one of those days that you sit in class and stare at your closest friends and realize that immaturity does not make a friendship. I sat there just in amazement that my friends were talking about some of the stupidest things in the world or even things that had nothing to do with what was going on. Don't get my wrong I know I tend to not be the maturest kid in the world but I do consider myself knowing what is right to say and what is just wrong and shouldn't even be said. But what would you do? I guess that becoming 16, has opened my eyes to the reality of who my true friends are and who are just acquaintances that you just happen to see everyday in the hallway. And then besides that it is the last week before vacation and I am just getting sick of a lot things happening through out school and happening through out my life. Like as of this week my grandmas was diagnosed with cancer again, and finding that out just put a big halt in my life and made me think of what else is going on. And I can think is that right now I can truly admit that yes I am depressed and I think that with the next 2 weeks being off and not going to school I just really want to stay away from everyone except close friends and family. And you know in life you have friends that you can tell anything and you know that nothing will be said and that your life is safe with them, yeah well as of yesterday my whole outlook on that ended and now I don't really know what to think of what happened. And I guess that is why I am questioning the relationships I have with people and what I think of them and if they are really worth having. Not saying that anyone who previews this entry and is a close friend of mine, won't have me as a friend anymore. I just think I have to think things through and to some soul searching and realize a true friend from a fake one. But I have a problem, people who are my friends always seem to use me as a rug for there problems and know that if they do anything to hurt me I can just forgive and forget and people give me examples and what can you do when you know it is true but you seem to not know how you can change it? And that seems to be a question that I can not answer. But I just hope that today can be a new chapter in my life to show those people who do use me that I am so much stronger and don't need there crap and won't let them use me as there personalized rug. So, I hope that can be enough information to give so that maybe you get a good outlook that my life is not so candy coated as people think and that seriously my life is a big crisis that needs to get fixed, I will try to keep my blog filled with good information and try to write in it about everyday or even everyother day.
Posted by ejbone
at 8:32 PM EST
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